Hello hello
Baby showers / A trend: cool, low-key dance schools / Spotting Zoe Kravitz in Amsterdam / An organic supermarket in New York / Swimming in "de badkuip" / Some extra tea.
Hello dear reader,
Have you and your running group already colonised the parks? Had your 10-euro green juice yet? Excellent. Let’s chat.
Last week, I went to a baby shower. It was a big deal because this family friend didn’t have a wedding — so the family needed another occasion to celebrate. There we were: my big Ethiopian family (and this was only the women, mind you), plus some family friends, crammed into a tiny Amsterdam apartment surrounded by pink balloons, pink decorations, pink cupcakes — basically, every shade of pink imaginable in one room. My prone-to-overstimulation, introverted self was, naturally, quite overwhelmed.
I get the point of these gatherings: coming together, celebrating the soon-to-arrive new family member, and of course, the gifts — baby clothes, toys, bibs, pacifiers, the whole lot. But I have a couple of why’s. Why do they always have to be so… I’m sorry… uncool? Does having a baby automatically mean you become uncool? It feels like the typical baby shower usually signals that the mom-to-be will be ‘that mom.’ I want to be a mother someday, but I don’t want to be that mom. My other why’s: why is it only the women? Isn’t this something to celebrate with men too? And why are all the clothes so painfully gendered? It’s not just that they’re pink — it’s hundreds of ribbons on one tiny outfit, t-shirts with gendered slogans like “I’m cute.” The molding of identity starts before the baby is even born.
We played games — guessing how many diapers you use in a year, or what the average baby weight is. We were also encouraged to write a letter to the baby and the soon-to-be mom. Writing to an unborn baby is hard. I wrote some sweet, encouraging things — that she can do anything she puts her mind to, that the world isn’t always kind to girls, and that she should never let anyone force her to wear pink ;)) But what can you really say to a creature that only exists inside someone else’s flesh? It’s cute in theory, but it feels a bit… extra. Who’s ever going to read those letters again? In a few years, they’ll be stuffed in a box with all the other sentimental clutter you can’t bear to throw out, but probably should.
It’s funny, I’m actually very sentimental myself, but baby showers bring out the stoic, sober Dutch woman in me. I can’t help but internally roll my eyes at all the money being spent on pink plastic and pink sugar. The complete obliviousness to patriarchy and how capitalism worms its way in, is so suffocating, I have to actively suppress the sudden urge to imagine femegor narratives. A coffee and a “tompouce”. Simple, but festive enough. Men and women both present. Not longer than just a couple of hours. Or..nesting parties..
Nesting parties
In the true spirit of efficiency, there’s something called a nesting party. This is kind of an anti-baby shower. No confetti bombs, but friends and family rolling up their sleeves to help you actually get stuff done. Forget the games and the decoration—nesting parties are about real, tangible support: meal prepping, organizing the nursery, folding tiny socks and diapers, collectively building IKEA furniture (super fun hehe). The baby gets celebrated, sure, but the parents get to breathe a little easier. A more grounded, dare I say feminist take on the baby shower, where the focus isn’t on a bunch of pastel-coloured gifts, but on the real work it takes to welcome a new person into the world.
Dance classes that feel like cool parties
Lately, I keep seeing these videos of super cool, low-key dance studios in Paris and New York, where people of all ages join in huge classes. The vibe seems so chill and fun—like a big living room party where everyone can just dance to whatever music moves them. I thought I had saved them on Instagram, but I didn’t! If anyone knows which studios I’m talking about, please send me a DM!!
I have a hypothesis: People in Amsterdam aren’t as comfortable with being free and loose as those in other European cities or New York. There’s something too sober, too Calvinistic about us. But here’s the flip side: we’re obsessed with seeing and being seen. Terrace culture in this city is all about people-watching. We care so much about how we are perceived. That is why everyone in this city dresses the same way and acts the same way. It’s a pool of monochromatism.
I’m sorry, not to hate. I love Amsterdam, I was raised here. Buuuuut having had the privilege to travel to some of the most iconic cities in the world—New York, Paris, London (where I also lived briefly)—I’ve seen what makes them so cool: people truly don’t care how they’re perceived. They like what they like and think what they think. If you ask me, the secret ingredient to coolness is exactly that—just not giving a shit. And honestly, that’s why Amsterdam hardly has any icons or It-girls. Coolness doesn’t thrive in a pool of monochromatism.
Okay, back to the dance schools. Sure, we have our bursts of hedonism; grabbing coffees with friends, drinks, and going to festivals, but the fun often feels like it’s meant to offset the rigidness of daily work life, rather than being a natural part of daily life. Even then, it often comes with a need for excess; some of us (not me!) turn to drugs to let go.
I don’t see pilates or hitting the gym as ‘letting go’. Not particularly. When it comes to things like working out or moving the body, it’s mostly about getting fit and looking good; as if it’s just something to tick off your to-do list. I feel like there’s little genuine joy in movement here, little sense of simply feeling connected to the body without external substances or the promise of sculpted, pumped-up muscles.
Another type of video I often see on Instagram is these spontaneous dance parties strangers throw together in New York subway stations. A musician starts playing Natasha Bedingfield, and suddenly the whole crowd (they do not look like tourists, so they must be New Yorkers) is singing and dancing along to Unwritten. I live for that kind of cringe. Absolute delight.
So yeah, more cool, low-key, affordable dance studios in Amsterdam, please.
I saw Zoe Kravitz in Amsterdam
This week, I was walking through Ten Kate Markt in Amsterdam West — my hood — with my sister and mother. In the middle of our conversation, we suddenly go silent because my sister and I spot Zoe Kravitz coming from the opposite side: sunglasses on, scarf wrapped around her head, totally fixated on her phone, avoiding eye contact. Meanwhile, my mom looked so confused, lol.
What’s she doing here?? Isn’t she supposed to be at Cannes? I’m super curious, guys. If any of you find out, please let me know!
Fun fact: Lenny Kravitz apparently goes to my favourite sauna in Amsterdam: Sauna Deco. Found out about this a couple of days ago.
A New York grocery store that makes you want to eat the rich — and be rich — all at once
An organic matcha, coconut water, yuzu juice, shiso leaf smoothy? A coffee collagen whip? Matcha milk jam? Fuck off (crying face). This New York grocery store is a dream. Last night my sister and I spent the night browsing the website of Happier Grocery.
A bottle of blue milk (blue spirulina, magnesium and blue agave) for about seven dollars:
Mayonnaise for eighteen dollars:
Food. Is getting. More. Expensive. Everywhere. It’s problematic. While young people in The Netherlands are struggling with money problems due to expensive groceries and skyrocketing rent, and Americans turn to loans as grocery costs keep going up, wealthy New Yorkers are splurging on $18 jars of mayonnaise.
Swimming in “de badkuip” this summer?
If you’re not skipping town for the summer, heads up: Het Stedelijk Museum is turning its iconic “badkuip” rooftop into a swimming pool. Duchamp’s urinal, but reimagined in the age of social media. I’m noticing a fascinating pattern: museums are no longer just about art, but also about creating nightlife-like experiences. They’re hosting Valentine’s Day parties and, apparently, even opening swimming facilities.
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More tea:
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New research finds: men are responsible for 26% more emissions than women. Yes, this is an attack.
Influencers are turning into life-saving hot-lines.
Enjoy your Sunday. Stay cool.
Love,
Naomi